House-Sitting
by sparklyrunes
Summary: Isabelle and Simon somehow get stuck watching Magnus and Alec's house while they are out of town. Watering cacti with milk and making conversation with the fireplace is just the beginning.


Checklist for Housesitting for the Bestest Sexual G- Lovemak- WARLOCK (Goodness Alec, this is my note, I can write what I want)

-Feed Chairman Meow  
-Water the cacti with milk  
-Pour a pot of boiling water onto the kitchen floor at nine o'clock each evening  
-Feed Mushu (little red dragon)  
-Talk to the fireplace, give it good company  
-Open the bedroom windows daily and yell octagon, it keeps them from breaking  
-Whisper a personal secret to front door so it will let you in  
-Tell a dangerous lie to the man that stands outside the door  
-Get drunk at least once on Friday nights (not because of the house, but because Clary needs to loosen up. And Simon is hilarious once intoxicated.)

Jace laughed as he read the note over Isabelle's shoulder. "Good luck, Iz" he muttered. She scowled and put the list in her back pocket. "Exactly why are Simon and I being forced to do this? You and Clary are doing nothing for Magnus!" It had become almost tradition from the to all split responsibilities when Magnus and Alec were out of town. Jace smirked and shrugged. "Clary threatened to permanently turn Alec's hair pink, using some rune she thought up. She won't show it to anyone in case they use it against her. Isabelle rolled her eyes and walked off. It wouldn't be that hard, right?

The next day, Isabelle and Simon decided to start on their chores. "Magnus can't seriously want me to water the plants with milk, can he?" Izzy asked, catching Simon's eye. "Just use water," he said, not quite taking Magnus seriously. He reached in front of her and grabbed a pitcher. She turned quickly and pecked his lips. He smiled and kissed her back. She turned around again though, just as fast, filling up the pitcher, and filling it up. She found the nearest plant, and began to pour out the water. However, as soon as a drop of water hit the plant, Chairman Meow jumped onto the table, then onto Isabelle, scratching her face. "GET OFF OF ME! ERAHHH!" Isabelle yelled. Simon quickly went to help her, but his phone started ringing, and it was the ringtone Magnus had assigned himself. (It was Magnus himself singing his rendition of _Glam_ by Christina Aguilera ) He never called Simon, so Simon grabbed it on his way over to Isabelle. "Hey! Magnus! What's up? Did you forget to tell us something? Like the fact that your cat is a demon?" He asked, prying the cat off of Isabelle, and throwing it across the room, balancing his phone on his shoulder.

Magnus practically growled. "I'm giving you a warning since this is your first day. Follow the instructions exactly! I am not responsible for my cats actions if you do otherwise!" The call ended then. Simon helped Isabelle clean up her face, then they started on the rest of the chores, much more conscious of the exact requests. "I'm going to kill the both of them," Isabelle said.

A little bit later Simon sat on top of Magnus' countertop, and Isabelle had her head stuck out of the window, shouting, "Octagon!" Suddenly, Simon looked frantic. "Shit, Izzy, is the water boiling?" he asked. She came back inside and her face paled.

There was a mad dash of checking on the water, and Simon swearing when he realized the water was barely even warm. The clock read 8:58. "Shit!" Isabelle swore, and cranked the heat up, and poured practically the whole carton of salt into the pot. "The hell was that for?" Simon asked, looking down at the salt that had fallen onto the floor. "It's supposed to make it boil faster!" "IZ!" He yelled, the second she turned around. The water had somehow managed to boil over. The fact that they had cranked it up to heat level 22 should've been a bad sign. Who even has a level 22 heat setting? Magnus and Alec apparently did.  
While they were trying to de-boil the water, even just a bit, the grandfather clock started to go off. Isabelle and Simon yelled a four letter word in unison, and threw the water onto the floor, running and trying to avoid the burning hot water.  
They dashed over to the couch, and sat. Isabelle scowled, and Simon said "Well thank Raziel he didn't want normal, lukewarm water." "Do you think we should go clean it up?" Isabelle asked, but Simon shook his head, saying that would be the normal thing to do, and Magnus obviously didn't want anything _normal_ to happen while he was gone. They sat there for a few minutes, Izzy putting her head on Simon's shoulder, and they slowly drifted off, lazily talking to each other about Star Trek.

Isabelle woke up a few hours later, and glanced at the clock, she cursed and shook Simon awake when she saw that it was almost midnight. "Si! We didn't talk to the fireplace!" Simon groggily sat up, muttering about _crazy requests_, and _crazy warlocks._

They stumbled over to the fireplace together. "Er, hello fireplace? How are you doing today?" Simon asked hesitantly. Then, what they were least expecting happened. "Why hello Simon! I've had a pleasant day, what about you?" a cheery voice said. Simon associated it with that of Santa Claus'. "Oh, well, um, it was an okay day. I'm kind of tired." Simon divulged in the fireplace. "Why, that's quite alright! You should go to sleep dearest Simon, you have been good company. I only hope I'll get more company tomorrow. Maybe your girlfriend will even speak to me." The Santa-Fireplace said, and Simon took that as a dismissal.

Isabelle, still half asleep, not seeing this as important enough, was already back to Magnus' couch. "You ready to go home?" she asked Simon. He nodded, but laid down next to her. "We did everything, right?" he asked her, looking at the clock that was about to strike midnight. "I think so, she nodded, trying to grab her stuff, but not really trying."

"Wait," Simon said, "Did we feed the cat?" Both of their eyes flew open, and they were greeted with the ravenous eyes of the Chairman.


End file.
